


Five Times Castiel Got The Shovel Talk, And One Time Dean Got It

by verucasalt123



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack-ish, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 11:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verucasalt123/pseuds/verucasalt123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The man and the angel both have protective families.</p>
<p>This was written for a prompt in the everlasting birthday challenge at the deancastiel comm on Livejournal. </p>
<p>now with podfic!!!  http://cee-m.dreamwidth.org/1085938.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Castiel Got The Shovel Talk, And One Time Dean Got It

It hadn’t been going on more than a few weeks before Sam figured out what was happening between Dean and Castiel. He’d never seen his brother look at anyone like he looked at Cas, so open and trusting. 

They weren’t exactly as stealthy as they thought, anyway…Sam pushed away those unwanted images of walking in on the two of them trying to look casual despite the room reeking of sex and Dean sporting bite marks just above his t-shirt.

He was still quite a bit in awe of Cas some days, but their relationship had gotten much more comfortable since their first awkward meeting. One of the few times the two of them were spending time together away from Dean, Sam figured this was his chance and just came right out with it.

“You know he’s in love with you, right?”

“I hope so. My…romantic feelings for your brother are difficult to describe in human terms, but you could say that I am also in love with him. Is this upsetting to you?”

“No, I mean, it’s weird, I guess, but I’m not upset about the two of you being together, so long as you’re happy. I just want to make sure you realize how serious his feelings are for you. And if you break his heart”, Sam continued, gathering his courage, “I will find a way to hurt you. I realize how much effort I’d have to put into that, but I will do it.”

Castiel considered what he’d observed of Sam’s intense stubborn streak, then just nodded. “I suppose you would.”

*******************

Ellen’s next in line. Sitting down across from Cas with a few empty shot glasses between them, she asked, “So, this thing with you and Dean, it’s serious?”

“Yes, it is definitely serious.” he replied, glancing over at the pool table where Dean and Sam were standing. 

“He’s not as unbreakable as he tries to make himself out to be, you know. I’ve never seen the kid look at anyone the way he looks at you, and if he lost you, it would tear him to pieces.” She looked at him expectantly, so Castiel gave her an honest response.

“I believe that is true. I feel the same way.”

With a smile, Ellen replied, “Good. Glad to hear it, Cas. And if you leave him, I will shoot you directly in the face, as many times as it takes to make me feel a little better.”

Castiel shrugged, assessed what he knew about the woman, then responded, “Yes, I believe that is also true.”

*****************************

The next time they were at Bobby’s, while Dean and Sam were gathering supplies in town, Bobby and Castiel shared a beer on the front porch. 

“So. You and Dean. Huh. Guess I can’t say I didn’t see it coming, but it still surprises me a little.”

Cas assumed, from his experience with men of Bobby’s generation, that he may have an issue with the seemingly homosexual nature of what was happening between him and Dean. His vessel was, after all, male, and humans didn’t generally understand things they couldn’t see. “I understand. You’re not used to the idea of Dean having sexual relations with someone of his own gender. But you must know that there is more to our relationship than that. Though the sex is definitely –“

Bobby cut him off there. “Enough, Cas, you think I want to hear about your sex life? Don’t make me sit here and call an angel of the Lord an idjit. I just want to tell you not to screw with him. If I had reason to believe you’d hurt him, I have no reservations about beating you over the head with a shovel until my arms gave out. Understood?”

“Certainly.”

Castiel was beginning to wonder why Dean’s relatives insisted on threatening him with physical violence when they were well aware that it would have little to no effect on him.

**********************************

Dean and Sam seemed to be having quite an intense conversation with Chuck, apparently having to do with “fanfiction”, which Castiel was now aware referred to the false prophecies written about the Winchesters by the few but exceptionally devoted and passionate people who enjoyed Chuck’s books. Many of them depicted an incestuous relationship between the brothers, which made both of them quite angry. Though yelling at Chuck about it was useless, it seemed to make them feel better, so Cas stayed out of it. 

This left Castiel alone with Becky, which he found terribly uncomfortable due to her constant and very specific, personal questions about Dean and Cas’ relationship. He certainly wouldn’t debase himself by lying to her, but his continued refusal to answer her questions didn’t stop her from asking more of them.

“Fine, fine, all right, just tell me this. You’re gonna stay together, right? You’re not going to have some huge falling out and hate each other or something, right?”

Cas took a minute to compose an appropriate response and said, “Chuck would be a better person to answer that question, I think. I have no way to predict the future.”

Becky’s eyes narrowed and her tone hardened, though her voice remained soft. “You two break up and my literature will be Jossed all to hell. And that will piss me off. So just don’t.do.it.”

This was a time that Castiel was tempted to try out rolling his eyes or sticking his middle finger in the air like he’d seen Sam and Dean do when they were annoyed. But he remained polite. He did not wish to receive another threat, harmless as they were. Instead, he asked her to explain what it meant for literature to be “Jossed”, which clearly turned Becky’s mood as she droned on and on while Castiel ignored her.

******************************

Missouri had never laid eyes on Castiel before they walked into her front room, but she knew within thirty seconds that he and Dean had something going on. She sent Sam to the store with a grocery list and ordered Dean out the back door to sweep off her porch. Observing the Winchesters’ hurried obedience to this woman was interesting, to say the least.

Once she had Castiel alone, she unsurprisingly spoke her mind without hesitation . “The two of you are just completely gone for each other, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Mosely, I’m not sure I –“

“Dean is crazy about you, Castiel, all starry-eyed and goofy. Lord knows I never thought I’d see the day. But I think you feel the same about him.”

“Yes, I believe I understand what you mean, and you are correct. Our romantic feelings are reciprocated”, he responded, at this point trying to guess what kind of threat was going to follow, as it seemed these conversations always ended up there.

“Good. Let’s keep it like that. Don’t think for a second your Angel of the Lord behind is immune to my wooden spoon.”

Now this was a reference Castiel was familiar with, having heard stories from Dean and his brother. And to be honest, he thought maybe he’d rather have Ellen shoot him in the face than incur the wrath of Missouri Mosely. His eyes went wide and he could not compose an appropriate response, so he just nodded and then quickly followed her instructions to set the dinner table.

**********************

“Great, just what I was looking forward to on my exceptionally rare night alone with the Magic Fingers and the TV remote, a visit from the Trickster”, Dean said when Gabriel appeared in his motel room.

“Forget the Trickster, Dean. You figured out who I really am, and I figured out that you’re fucking my little brother.”

“Don’t be so vulgar, Gabriel. Cas and I are together, it’s not like we had some one night stand and I left him cab fare on the dresser.”

“Oh, now you’re calling me vulgar? Rich, Winchester, honestly.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

Dean was still watching Dead Pool, barely having spared a glance in Gabriel’s direction, when he felt something that drew his eyes away from the television.

That short, smarmy dude they’d been dealing with all this time was still there, but it wasn’t him. Dean thought immediately of the difference between the moments when Castiel was trying to figure out a pop culture reference and the moments when he was kicking the shit out of demons or monsters. Gabriel looked like he might be in smiting mode, which wasn’t a look Dean had seen on him before.

“You think Castiel is powerful. I’m a fucking archangel. You have no idea the world of hurt you will find yourself in if you fuck with my brother. We are clear on this, I assume?”

And Dean really, really wanted to give him a smartassy retort or some kind of macho comeback, but all he could manage to say was “Yeah, uh…yeah. Clear. Got it.”

Gabriel disappeared, and for the first time, Dean wondered if any of his family had given Cas the shovel talk. Probably not. It would be kind of absurd to threaten an angel.

~end~


End file.
